CEO Joan E Serves Up Breast in Cream Sauce to Buffoon Billionaire

by Joan E Thurman

2013-10-20.  Face it, all you female CEO's. Being top executive in an industry dominated by men whose family ownership of major corporations goes back for generations has its advantages and its disadvantages. You've earned your position through precise knowledge of the business, including all its screw-ups and cover-ups, too. 

Determining if your Boyfriend is Poor

By Joan E Thurman

2019-09-01.  I've known women so in love with the idea of love--so desperate for a man's compliment,  or a door opened for them; so famished for a kind word and affectionate smile, for the slightest act of chivalry--that they close their eyes to Prince Charming's obvious extreme poverty, and believe every imaginative story he tells to cover up the fact. 

Not me, some of you say. I said that once too, and I am still paying for the love we shared--in monthly installments.

Feed 'em Dogpoop Swimming in Hot Sauce! They Won't Know the Difference.

by Joan E Thurman

Congratulations, Jackass. You ate fire.

Honey'd Wings offer a civilized alternative to the fire-breathing discomfort of hot chicken-wing recipes. Have you ever observed the archetype macho-man as he shows off to his frat brothers by choking down an order of super-extra-spicy "Devil's Spit" wings? He goes red in the face, the sweat begins to pour off of him, he can't even speak for a while--and everybody knows he's not enjoying his wings, he's just proving that he can eat anything.

Allen's "Sacred Art of P-ssy Worship": Sexology or Subterfuge?

An Introduction to Ms. Juliet Allen for "Women's Supremacy" readers

by Joan E Thurman

Meet Juliet Allen, a sexologist from down under--Australia--making great strides in dignifying the irresistible allure of being sexually active for the educated gentlewomen who hasn't the time to deny her personal appetites or impose upon their potential mates the strict discipline I recommended to make them women's humble servants. My personal approach focuses on gaining complete control over a potential male partner.

But not every cosmopolitan female is interested in using men as God created them to be used, as providers of material security, emotional obedience, and sexual slavery that must be their natural role for a dynasty family to bloom. I freely admit that a pushover is not every woman's cup of tea. Still, I cannot help but note a variety of latent desire for dominance in of Ms. Allen's  philosophy . E.g., I excerpt here from her "Guide . . . P-ssy Worship." Can you feel her yearning for female power in her introduction? Heaven knows we deserve it:

Joan E: Hold Out for the Best Offer, Sister!

by Joan E Thurman

Sure, sex is great, but there are ways to get it that 
don't ruin your prospects for a wealthy husband.

2020. S-E-X too often results in besmirched status for college women (and graduates) if given too freely. Yet females as well as males struggle with libidinal stirrings. If you absolutely need to satisfy your physical urges, do it yourself. Before running the risk of a lifelong STD, pregnancy--or the paradox of being labeled a 'skank' or 'slut', by the same guy who was so charming the night before--think!!

Strong Women on Pink Harleys--Hooray for Female Grace!

by Joan E Thurman

Cristina Swinton and Her Pink 1967 Harley-Davidson 

Ris Puddic forto Svellan Gudrun

by Joan E Thurman

When some single working women of the 21st-century come home at the end of the day, they come to an empty space. She never was the type to take whatever she could get, so now she makes whatever she gets for herself.

Presently she takes comfort. A bowl of rice pudding ringed with cherries waits for her in the coolest place she knows. She does not gobble it down. Instead, she licks each dip of pudding from the spoon, first back and then front, languorously, until the metal shines.

Joan E knows a secret ingredient that you may want to add--to cure your loneliness. If you figure it out, use it carefully.

My Message to Sisters: Men Are Whores!

Me llamo Joan E. No soy una puta. Los hombres son los putos.

By Joan E Thurman

A truth for sisters, mothers. aunts, nieces, daughters and women and girls everywhere

These women would not be selling sex
if men were not buying it.

My name is Joan E Thurman. I had a typical American girlhood. I made a lot of mistakes. My later, more successful experiences in the kitchen--and also, wrestling in the backseats of cars--may help you avoid bad choices.

Killing the Prick with Hammy, Mammy

How's your love-life, Married Woman? 

Humor by Joan E Thurman

2020-06-06. Girlfriends, have you ever seen, heard, and smelt a truckload of pigs on their way to the house of slaughter?--a hundred unwashed swine packed closely together, squealing and incontinent from terror, their pink noses poking through bars of a death-wagon--driven by a grinning, drooling human male who watches in his rear-view mirror laughing his head off at your reaction to the atrocious reek as he s-l-o-w-l-y passes your open convertible.

Putting Your Mother-in-Law Back in the Bumpkin Batch

by Joan E Thurman

2020-9-1. Sooner or later, it comes to down to this, Sisters. During the courting phase of your husband hunt, it will become necessary that you, the prospective wife of a well-favored rich male, demonstrate to his mother and assembled family--that you not only are the most attractive, smartest woman that her son has ever fallen in love with, but also that you are a fine patissier and exceedingly gracious too. A patissier is a baker of unparalleled skill. 

Ho no mo

Joan E Thurman's View of Caveman-style Objectification!

The next time someone calls you "ho" or "bitch" or "stupid cunt" you may want to think twice about whether it is worthwhile to continue a relationship with that disrespectful person. Here's a place to discuss the issue with friends:

Ho'NoMo

Halting Sexual Predation of Women: 3 Stories from Joan E Thurman

by Joan E Thurman (shocking but effective)

Hey big boys!

2019-3-1 To attract the interest of the opposite sex, all a woman need do is place a finger in her mouth. In my latest banner above, I am doing just that. Although I admit the photo was staged, in the real world I might have been licking the herbs, spice, and greasy remnants of the Colonel's secret recipe from my sticky fingers. 

I was observed with my finger in my mouth today--by several cat-calling men, as I walked the short distance to retrieve my classic XKE from a mechanic's garage. You see, as I walked, I was dislodging bits of the hors d'oeuvres served at our company's regular Wednesday afternoon Board Meeting. We always have wine, too, but my glass of iced Dom Perignon hurt like hell.

I had lost a tooth-filing at breakfast. As the day progressed, so did my dental pain. The gaggle of goons thought I was enacting a seductive pose for their benefit. I was picking my teeth. First thing in the morning my new dentist, will correct it.

Women Must Fight Male Violence with Weapons Made Just for Them

by Joan E Thurman

December 18, 2020. In the final analysis, there is only one way for a woman to defend herself against a man intent upon harassment, humiliation, and acts of sex forced upon her by bad men and gangs of men. These kinds of hooligans haven't progressed much beyond the stone age, and for these obnoxious boors the only way is to fight fire with fire. Although I swore I'd never do it, I have long been carrying various weapons of self defense that are easily concealed, non-lethal, and allow a girl sufficient time to get help.

2020 to Usher in Rapture

Commonly Asked Questions:

Answered by Joan E Thurman, Female Supremacist

• Will Lucy the elephant of Edmonton signal the coming Ascent of Woman and the end of human male exploitation of genders different from their own? ?

Yes, when the men conspiring to deprive Lucy of a longer and better adjusted life of  warmth and freedom are commanded by Queen Elizabeth to relinquish their control of Lucy, and allow 90-something game show animal activist Bob Barker handle her retirement, repature among humans will spontaneously begin, depriving the earth of  some 880,000 chosen people until the removal of their 7 billion sisters and brothers--described in Revelation. Following the dramatic adjustment, G-d will return those enraptured to earth to seed and cultivate a desired paradise on earth. Leadership will be exclusively female.

First Date Strategy: Chix Flix, Snack Mix, and Martinis Reveal His Character

by Joan E Thurman

2019-01-30 It's the first time you've invited him up to your place for an evening alone together, just you and him. Tonight you'll get a good long look at the real man. Is he secure enough in his manhood to let go of the NFL for a while, and participate in the civilized things you treasure?

Barbeque Sauce with Cloven Kick

by Joan E Thurman

2018-07-04. Joan E has mixed feelings about giving away her marketing vision for the next generation of outdoor cooking-sauce products; but as long as it is adapted by a sister with some smarts, who develops Joan E's idea, she will be alright with it--heck, she'll be happy for you, Girlfriend!

Bob Barker Says Lucy Is the Poorest Elephant in the World

Is A Solitary Female Member of a Different Species Held Captive Against Both Law and Nature Worth a 2nd Thought?

In 2009 animal activist Bob Barker tried to purchase and retire the long-solitary star of a

radically off-climate zoo in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada--a female named Lucy.

Malignant Narcissism: Trending or Ending?

Malignant Narcissism: Trending or Ending?

by Tommy George

with thanks to Joan E

Let me first apologize to Joan E for posting such blatant self-promotion on her very integritous site. However, I believe that although I am trying to use Malignant Narcissism as a platform from which to dive into the pool of America's published authors, the theme I choose to write about hs probably touched many of Joan E's readers. Men tend to be pushy and self-interested and learning to recognize the truly malignant among them will serve any true-hearted woman well. Chance are you already know a malignant narcissist.

Castrate Rapists!

by Joan E Thurman,
Woman's Supremacist and High Priestess

Hand to the Rapist
His Own Testes

I agree with scriptural protocol that any male human who fails to obey the practice of husbandry as dictated by angelic powers in the scriptures of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene should be be flogged, castrated, and handed his own testicles. Until men learn the natural intention of procreation, they must have the fear of the Goddesshead instilled in them should they run amok.

It may seem draconian, but men must be taught their place in the natural order of the sexes by whatever means are required. Too much testosterone spoils the male; rape is the work of the same malevolent forces which nearly drove humanity to extinction.

Training a Young, Affluent Man to Be an Obedient Husband

by Joan E Thurman (now with fewer explicit sexual references!)

2018-09-15. My name is Joan E Thurman. I had a typical American girlhood, and freely confess that like many of my readers, I made mistakes. I learned much from my experiences, like wrestling in the backseats of cars with boys intent upon abusing my womanhood, yet willing to give nothing in return for those most valuable of commodities, love and affection. I learned much from my backseat misadventures with untrained boys . . . about rats.

Oh baby! I will love you tonight and forever. Just give it up!