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American Boomtown! Sky-high Wages!
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Chickens Can't Be Alonee

by Joan E Thurman
9 November 2017

Joan E asks: 

Have you ever seen how a factory chicken lives and dies?

Gustasus similis pullus
When the Colonel says "We do chicken right!" What he really means is "Our chickens have no rights!" These flightless birds spend their entire lifetime in a cage, immobilized, stuffed with chickenfeed, and shat upon by the upper tier chickens. Then they are murdered, dismembered, deep fried, and devoured; their gnawed bones discarded without a cry, without a prayer, with no betrayal of despair--only a finger-licked memory. 

Calloween Weevo Bemoans Abortion in a Video

by Joan E ThurmanNovember 15, 2017. Fairland, OK. 
Joan E was surprised to run across Calloween Weevo, an old classmate of Joan e's in Mortuary Sciences 101, featured in a video by Dead wyreS. Joan E's opinion is that the work kind of sucks, but what do you think? Inquiring dummies want to know. Please rate Calloween's gothic qualities on the right sidebar.

Killing Your Prick-of-a-Hubby with Hammy, Mammy

How's your love-life, Married Ladies? 
by Joan E Thurman

2013-06-06. Girlfriends, have you ever seen, heard, and smelt a truckload of pigs on their way to the house of slaughter?--a hundred unwashed swine squeezed closely together, squealing and incontinent from terror, their pink noses poking through bars of a death-wagon driven by some grinning, idiotic human male--who watches in his rear-view mirror, laughing his head off at your reaction to the atrocious reek as he s-l-o-w-l-y passes your open convertible.

Bob Barker Says Lucy Is the Poorest Elephant in the World

Is A Solitary Female Member of a Different Species, Captive Against the Law and Nature, Worth Your Concern?

"When you get to the bottom of it, it is always greed"--to paraphrase Bob Barker's statement in a Toronto Star interview given after his failure to help Lucy the Elephant retire from the Edmonton Valley Zoo in Alberta, Canada. In 2009 animal activist Bob Barker tried to purchase and retire the long-solitary elephant star of a radically off-climate zoo.

Bob offered money to purchase, treat, and retire to sanctuary Lucy the painting, harmonica playing pachyderm after 40 years of service--in order to send her to warmth and reelephantation. He was refused on all counts. Lucy has spent her life in servitude, beginning at age 2. She will be 43 in May of 2018.

Men Are the True Whores!

Me llamo Joan E. No soy una puta. Los hombres son los putos.
By Joan E Thurman
for sisters, mothers. aunts, neices, daughters and women and grls everywhere
These women would not be selling sex
if men were not buying it.
My name is Joan E Thurman. I had a typical American girlhood. I made a lot of mistakes. My later, more successful experiences in the kitchen--and also, wrestling in the backseats of cars--may help you avoid bad choices.

Feed 'em Dogpoop with Lots of Hot Sauce! They Won't Know the Dfference.

by Joan E Thurman
Congratulations, Jackass.
Honey'd Wings offer a civilized alternative to the fire-breathing discomfort of hot chicken-wing recipes. Have you ever observed the archetype macho-man as he shows off to his frat brothers by choking down an order of super-extra-spicy "Devil's Spit" wings? He goes red in the face, the sweat begins to pour off of him, he can't even speak for a while--and everybody knows he's not enjoying his wings, he's just proving that he can eat anything.

If You Must Do It, Do It with Flair

My colleague Tommy George has lodged a protest against those depressed persons who insist on committing suicide by blowing their brains out with a shotgun. What inconsiderate sad apples these corpses must have been; and you can bet your bottom dollar that person died knowing that it would be a woman who would clean up his / her unconscionable mess.

I do not recommend that anybody take their own life, but sometimes it seems unavoidable. You may be in great emotional anguish, but this is no reason to put another in a sad mood. As Tommy G says, "Leave 'em laughing with your funniest rictus smile. Click the below graphic to see what I am talking about.

Now there is something I've never seen before. What imagination!

Joan E: Hold Out for the Best Offer, Sister!

by Joan E Thurman

Sure, sex is great, but there are ways to get it that
don't ruin your prospects for a wealthy husband.
. S-E-X too often results in besmirched status for college women (and graduates) if given too freely. Yet females as well as males struggle with libidinal stirrings. If you absolutely need to satisfy your physical urges, do it yourself. Before running the risk of a lifelong STD, pregnancy--or the paradox of being labeled a 'skank' or 'slut', by the same guy who was so charming the night before--think!!

Halting Sexual Predation of Women: 3 Stories from Joan E Thurman

by Joan E Thurman (now with less filth! and more whisking!)

Hey big boys!
2015-3-1 To attract the interest of the opposite sex, all a woman need do is place a finger in her mouth. In my latest banner above, I am doing just that. Although I admit the photo was staged, in the real world I might have been licking the herbs, spice, and greasy remnants of the Colonel's secret recipe from my sticky fingers. 

Detroit Goes on the Warpath against White Male Domination

posted by Joan E Thurman

Editor Tommy George requested that I post his ridiculous ideas about healing Detroit by turning it into the vice capital of the universe. I am posting it for you, Tommy, but it seems a bit far-fetched.  Give It Back to Native Americans?

Turn This Mess into a Global Leader in Tourism?

Indian repatriation. Maybe it is not such a bad idea after all. The law of the white man has made a mess of a once grand city.

Give It Back to Native Americans?  Click and see for yourself.