by Joan E Thurman
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| Sure, sex is great, but there are ways to get it that don't ruin your prospects for a wealthy husband. |
2020. S-E-X too often results in besmirched status for college women (and graduates) if given too freely. Yet females as well as males struggle with libidinal stirrings. If you absolutely need to satisfy your physical urges, do it yourself. Before running the risk of a lifelong STD, pregnancy--or the paradox of being labeled a 'skank' or 'slut', by the same guy who was so charming the night before--think!!
Girls like the younger me and perhaps the present you--ranging from the reader whose earnest correspondence arrived scrawled on a long swathe of receipt paper (pictured right), to a soi-
dissant Long Island Lolita--who fell for auto body man Buttafucco (pictured left) and ended up an international tramp--too often learn the hard way how the male human animal is hard-wired to dissemble, lie, prevaricate, hyperbolize, and try any dirty trick to position his 10cc of genetic joy-juice in the desired proximity for creation of a zygote within your precious body.
If ten minutes of unimaginative romantic endearments accompanied by the relentless pounding of male's battering ram at the gates of paradise will suffice, by all means, proceed.
If you want romantic treatment and quality of life over the long term, you would be far wiser to read Joan E, who will teach you how to make them work for it. Okay! Enough lecturing. Take her seriously. You will not regret it.
On a practical note, there are many prosthetic devices available--some ladies call them dildos, others call them vibrators, others the Lady's Home Companion, etc.--that a woman no longer need visit some sleaze-pit of an adult bookshack to get one. Sacks Fifth Avenue, Tiffany's, and better establishments everywhere (that sell's lingerie) will be glad to help you find the best fit, with style and discretion. Even Walmart will accommodate your need. Just ask the sales clerk where you can find the establishment's "private collection." She will take you to some out-of-the-way spot in the store and show you their whole collection. If you really, really need to come, go to the store and ask for the "private collection."
Also: Sublimate Your Libidinal Turmoil with Culinary Distraction
Each day of life is special and valuable, so each of my recipes is special, too. Every one of them has been tried, tasted, tested, and proven to be perfect for getting the man a girl wants, when she wants him--whether it's
- his first visit to your place for an evening just for two, or
- your contribution to the holiday feast prepared for his well-off family, or
- an important business engagement where sex is expected.
You'll see that my recipes contain a lot more than ingredients and instructions. They contain the philosophy of Women's Supremacy: how to get it, and how to keep it. I know that 99% of my readers have it within them to rule the relationship, but the don't know how. Well, return to my site often and you will learn.
In the meantime . . .
If I hear about any of you whoring around with the eugenically or the financially inadequate--performing gratuitous sex acts (ugh!) with stubble-faced mechanics whose kiss alone conveys the unsavory taste of stale life and cheap beer--and doing it just because you're feeling lonely, or somehow inadequate from comparing yourself to the wrong women, I'm going to find your dorm room and start locking you in on the weekends! Value what you have, Sister, because once a man gets his way, he loses interest. And you lose out on a life of luxury.
Love to all my sisters, the supreme rulers of the world! --jet
