Women: Rich, Happy, and in Control!

by Joan E Thurman

My name is Joan E Thurman. I enjoy good food, I love music, and I tolerate men as a necessary evil. When I plan the menu for a romantic event, my recipes include more than just food and drink--lots more! But don't get the wrong idea. I might be serving my special guy a lovely piece of meat--but it's not going to be me.

The funny thing about the male animal is that the worse you treat them, the more respectfully they will treat you. Crazy, huh? But it's true. Treat him like a cockroach and he will adore you.

Joan E warns: Don't let me hear about you "hooking up" with someone the same night you meet them. It's a losing proposition, and it's gross. If you absolutely must fulfill your burning physical urges, do it yourself. Or with a trusted female friend. There are some great toys available at the Mall--you don't have to go in those sleazy porn shops anymore.

So before you run the risk of an STD, pregnancy--or being labeled a skank or a slut, by the same guy who was so charming before you made love with him, think! Then think again! If you want a romantic, eager-to-please man for the long term, make him work for it.

Learn to be selective about the sort of man you let come into your personal space. If I hear about any of you whoring around with creeps--just because you're feeling lonely, or somehow inadequate from comparing yourself to the wrong, phony, airbrushed women--I'm going to find your dorm room and start locking you in on the weekends! Value what you have, because once a man has his way, he loses interest. Okay, enough lecturing. Just remember: he's a cockroach and you are a queen bee.

Each day of your life is special and valuable, so each of my recipes is special, too. Every one of them has been tried, tasted, tested, and proven itself as perfect for getting what a girl wants, when she wants it--whether it's his first visit to your place for an evening just for two, or the holiday feast you prepare for his whole family.

Recipes That Rock! have worked over and over again, girls! They're not hard to prepare, but they are guaranteed to Rock His World!--and yours too. Oooh! Imagine how your awe-struck man will express his gratitude! And I'm not talking about hugs and kisses. That calls for a full two-carat, high-grade diamond at the absolute minimum. I'm talking about him doing the dishes, scrubbing the kitchen floor, and then vacuuming the living room too.

Remember, you are superior to any man on the planet, so let's get this party started! Need someplace to discuss issues honestly and openly? Join my discussion group.