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Chickens Can't Be Alonee

by Joan E Thurman
9 November 2017

Joan E asks: 

Have you ever seen how a factory chicken lives and dies?

Gustasus similis pullus
When the Colonel says "We do chicken right!" What he really means is "Our chickens have no rights!" These flightless birds spend their entire lifetime in a cage, immobilized, stuffed with chickenfeed, and shat upon by the upper tier chickens. Then they are murdered, dismembered, deep fried, and devoured; their gnawed bones discarded without a cry, without a prayer, with no betrayal of despair--only a finger-licked memory. 

Our First Order of Business: Get Some Man-Size Cages!

Luckily, we human "chicks" can think, act, and fight against those who be colonels over us, even kill for the right to exercise our Goddess-given supremacy over men. Let them sit in a cage eating chicken feed, for they are the real bird-brains behind countless inhumanities dished out with nary a thought.

Joan E asks: 

Have you ever seen how a girl of the millennial generation is brainwashed by Media, peers, and the opposite sex into catering to their warped view of what real femininity is all about?--er, if you know what I mean, Baby Doll. Have you noted the intelligence she abandons for boys' attention and the independence she devalues to conform to the American high-school and college boys' warped mating protocol? How she buys into lies, is often left holding the baby in a single-mom bag, but sometimes, acquires a bit of wisdom--not long before she dies?

Puella non compos mentos
(Legal term: jail bait, creepos)

Do you think that if she could hear--when the boys' locker room talk turns to her as slutty, sex-crazed freaky chick that would do one or two or maybe all of them, right in the boys room--would it make her feel like she's growing into a real woman? When she learns to ape what the porno whores do--open their throats, their bowels, and their purses for these prickish young men--does it make you feel proud that she may have learned it from you? Or that you never warned her about the age-old sexploitation of women?

Sometimes the whole business, including too much of my own experience, makes me feel sick for being so dumb. Girls, women, mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmas, nuns and witches! Sometimes Joan E thinks we are all a bunch of the colonel's chickens. Let's tear down these cages and prove our supremacy!

Not Like This
I guess that's why they call crack-whores "chicken heads." Anyway, let me not stray too far from today's gourmet recipe:
Chicken Dontwannabealone
  • 3/4 cups celery--thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup carrots--thinly sliced
  • 1/2 cup fresh mushrooms
  • 1 small onion--thinly sliced
  • 1 clove garlic--minced
  • 8 oz tomato sauce
  • 8 oz tomatoes undrained
  • 1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • 3 Boneless Chicken Breasts
  • 1/2 cup Ricotta cheese
  • 3 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 tbsp chopped green onion
  • 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
  • pepper to taste
  • 1/4 pound Mozzarella cut into thin strips

To Prepare:

Saute the fresh vegetables in a bit of oil or butter until they are tender.

Cut up the tomatoes, but do not discard the juice. Add the tomatoes, Italian seasoning, and sugar to the vegetables and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce the heat, and simmer uncovered over low heat for 20 minutes. Place the boned chicken breasts between two sheets of plastic wrap and pound them flat, to a 1/4" thickness. Once flattened, cut each breast into two pieces. Combine the Parmesan and the Ricotta cheeses, chopped green onion, and seasoning into a smooth mixture. Onto each flattened half-breast, spoon 1 1/2 tablespoons of the cheese mixture. Roll up the chicken like a burrito. Place the pieces with the seam-side down into an 8" x 8" baking pan. Pour the sauce over the chicken rolls. Bake the dish covered for 30 -40 minutes in a 375 Degree oven. The chicken should be tender. Remove the pan from the oven, and arrange the Mozzarella strips atop the dish in a lattice design. Bake the dish for an additional 5 minutes.

To serve this dish with unforgettable panache, dump the scalding contents directly onto the table and let the men eat with their hands. Women, use knives and forks, but eat together far away from your inferiors.

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